We all probably have a list of things we have done that we said we would never do. Whether they are more trivial things like wearing skinny jeans, or more serious like kids, divorce, lifestyle changes, etc… The older I get, the more I learn there is no telling what the future holds. I can pretend I know what I would do in different situations, but until the time arises, there is no telling. Like I really thought I would hate skinny jeans…wrong. They are pretty much all I own these days. For a long time I described myself as “a morning person.” I could easily get up and workout or get the day going…not so much anymore. I can’t tell you how much grief I gave myself over not getting up bright and early to workout or accomplish something because I had always been a morning person. I finally accepted that for whatever reason, I had changed. I found myself with more energy in the evening and night than the morning. Once I accepted this change, I felt so much better about that later wake up time. I didn’t have to be a morning person forever. But even a simple change in wake up time was hard to accept.
Sometimes we choose the change in our lives, and sometimes it is forced on us. Either way, it is inevitable and sometimes necessary.
When the small changes can be hard to accept, imagine a huge change…like a career change. It wasn’t until around 30 that I figured out I don’t have to stay on the same career path I had decided on when I was 18 years old.
When I was in high school, I remember trying to decide between being a teacher and a physical therapist. I chose teaching. It felt right for me. I went to school and took all the steps to become a teacher. At first I loved it. I coached. I made some great friends. I felt like I was making a difference in these kids lives. They were certainly making a difference in mine. All great things. When I started teaching, I thought I would be in the classroom forever. In fact, up to my last year teaching, I thought I would be in the classroom forever. The process of deciding to leave was sheer agony. Seriously, agonizing. It was all I thought about for months. Tears were shed. Doubt loomed over my head like a dark cloud. It was scary. I wondered if I could really do it, and what would my career look like from here if I couldn’t exactly predict what was going to happen? However, something inside me also knew I couldn’t be a teacher anymore.
This path that had been in front of me for at least a decade was not one I wanted to continue on. There are a lot of reasons why I felt I needed to leave education, which could be its own, very long blog post. Though now that I have had some distance from it, I also realize it wasn’t only because all the things I felt were wrong with the educational system. It was also because there were a lot of paths I didn’t even realize were options. I mean the job I am doing now, wasn’t a job when I was in high school and college trying to decide on a career. Social media wasn’t a thing. Digital communications, smart phones and apps weren’t things. How could I have known back then that I would develop new interests in something that didn’t really exist yet? I had never categorized myself as a creative person, although now I would because my definition of creative has expanded past being good at drawing. But back then how could I have known I would long to be in a creative, ever-changing environment? So I had a decision to make: stick with everything I knew. The straight, clear path (teaching) in front of me. And it was a very nice path. Or I could choose something else. A path less clear. One that was curvy, and I couldn’t see where it was going, but knew it would take me somewhere great.
So I left teaching. It was strange at first. I definitely missed some aspects of being in the classroom. However I also gained schedule flexibility and being able to go to the bathroom whenever I wanted!
My first job out of teaching was a good stepping stone for leaving the education world, but about a year ago I found myself knee-deep in the job search again. I was ready to move on to something bigger and more challenging and also desperate to get out of the worst work environment I have ever experienced. I set my sites on bigger opportunities for learning and growth. I remember on a job interview I was asked what job I see myself doing in 5 years. And that was an “Ah Ha” moment for me. I told him I don’t know what I will be doing in 5 years, but as long as I continue to learn, grow, and keep moving forward, I will be happy. I mentally noted how weirdly OK I was without having a clearly defined path.
After several interviews and anticipation, I was able to land a job full of opportunity and growth. And I was in a completely new workplace…again. It was intimidating at first, and I had a lot to learn. I gave myself some grace and dove into learning. I stayed open to feedback and asked a lot of questions. I let myself be ok with being uncomfortable. I let myself be open to ideas and opportunity. When I started, I didn’t really know what I was getting into, but now that I am in it, I realize this is what I wanted. I have learned more in the past year than I have in a loooong time, and it feels good. You know what is funny about my current workplace? It is always changing. Ha! There is always something new to learn and problems to solve. And the snack table is always bountiful.
Leaving teaching was really the starting point to my coming around to the idea of change, and the idea that things don’t have to stay the same forever. Most things can’t stay the same forever. (and they probably shouldn’t, right?) I wouldn’t say I have a clear picture of what my career path (or any other life path) looks like anymore. What I do know is that I am going to keep learning and seeking opportunity. There are going to be setbacks and failures, duh. As long as I keep moving forward, all signs lead to awesome.
For a long time I didn’t think I was allowed to change my mind. Yep, this goes for all the things not just the career things. Hence, skinny jeans and no longer classifying myself as a morning person. I am allowed to change my mind. I am allowed to make a change that feels right for me. It may not be on the path I saw myself 20 years ago or even 3 years ago. Sometimes, it is scary as hell not being able to see around the bend, but along the way, I learned I am not the type of person who wants to walk in a straight line after all.
Real Always Wins 
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